Serious Bullying , And A Headteacher That Does…….. NOTHING


This last couple of weeks has seriously been horrendous and it’s taken me now to calm down and write about it.

The issue surrounding bullying for everyone involved, is absolutely awful, and never ever thought I would be in the position where I had to take my children out of school.

My son L is now 9 , he’s on the autistic spectrum (currently awaiting diagnosis) diagnosed with FACS and Cerebral Palsy, hates noise, social situations, and is statemented at school. When he comes out of school we are literally in the car and he has already exploded due to sheer frustration. The therapist put it well at CAHMS last week “imagine shaking a bottle of coke and opening it and it exploding everywhere” that is how many children who are autistic are, they try so much to impress their teachers, and with L he also has the issue of his CP, having to really concentrate when writing due to his poor finger manipulation, that he is like that coke bottle …… Exploding

Everything came to a head around 3 weeks ago when coming out of school, he was physically assaulted by a boy of his age which was witnessed by another parent. L is not one for hugs and kisses so when I turned the corner and saw him hugging my friend I knew something was wrong. This same scenario has been going on for a good 2 years, hitting, kicking, pushing, calling names, and has impacted L bad,  to the point where if he is really agitated and stressed he physically can’t talk. (Now back under speech therapy) With what had happened I kept L out of school till I spoke to the headteacher and deputy head.  A meeting was held with the 2 boys parents and also my husband and I along with the head and deputy head.  What was clear from this meeting was there was a total lack of communication from the school.  All parents were going in to the school addressing the issues and concerns we had, yet the teachers were not calling us in.  For 2 years there has been such huge animosity between the other parents and us, that if the school would have got us in regularly to talk about things, we wouldn’t be in the situation we are now in.

As the week went on communication with the school was totally breaking down.  It was agreed we would send L back into school, very reluctantly though as when my husband asked the head “could he guarantee Ls safety……..he never replied.  Any  headteacher that is competent and good at their job would be able to tell any parent “YES your child will be 100% safe” so when he never done this…..we were worried.  L went back in the day after, we spoke the night before about going back to school to encourage and prepare him for school.  When he came out of school we knew he wasn’t happy.  He told us he had been elbowed in his face with the marks very visible IMG_9840IMG_9839IMG_9838

 

Outraged is not the word.  When we asked the head about what would happen to the boys that attacked L in front of the parent……. yet again he never responded and no action has been taken against the children.  As a governor at the school the amount of parents who have been to me complaining that there children have been picked on, bullied is frightening as it seems the school is not acting with regards to bullying.  Children are scared to go to school as their is now a new attendance officer there.  I know of 3 parents whose children were being bullied for months and because no action was taken they actually took their children out of school, same as me.

As governor I approached the school about this incident.  A boy aged 7 had been kicked in the mouth and unbelievably…………the deputy head wasnt aware of the incident and even worse THE HEADTEACHER HADN’T BEEN IN TOUCH WITH THE PARENTS!!!!!!!!

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Imagine coming home to see your child like this.  I was crying when I saw this as the boy is so lovely.  I asked the head had action been taken and he wouldn’t tell me.  I know NO ACTION has been taken with regards to the boys that done this.

With the case studies I have from other parents I put an official complaint into Ofsted and also the LEA.  How can a school not act on children being bullied.  ITs almost like the head is allowing the children to bully other children.  They are not addressing so are sending out the wrong message.  The children DOING the bullying are not being punished so to them its ok to pick on another child.  The child being bullied is too scared to tell parents/teachers as there thinking “what’s the point?? Nothing happens”  Hence why there is now an attendance officer at the school as attendance levels have dropped…….can you wonder why??  The headteacher is NOT safeguarding these children at school which is his job.  There is a duty of care to be established and with these pictures and the case studies I have……total neglect

 

I want to hear your opinion.  What does your school do to tackle bullying ?? Has your child been bullied and what is their/your  experience ??

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3 thoughts on “Serious Bullying , And A Headteacher That Does…….. NOTHING

  1. Hi Emma,

    I’m really sorry to read this and to here that your children have gone through such a bad time. It is a terrible feeling to find out that at time when you have trusted professionals to look after your child – a time when you can’t be there to protect them – they have been let down, hurt and upset.

    The headteacher sounds spineless, weak and lacking in understanding or empathy. I wonder how he would feel if it was his children who were subjected to this?

    I’m glad you’ve reported it to the LA and to Ofsted. I hope you sent the photographs too. However, as with most things, it is the weight of complaints that receive action and until other parents do the same and there are at least 5 complaints from separate families, both the LA and Ofsted are likely to sit on your letter. It was reported a couple of weeks ago that a single complaint would no longer trigger a no notice inspection….probably because their post bag has grown with single complaints.

    Have you thought of moving the children? I know this is hard, but it shows strength that you are not willing to put up with this for your children. Far from running away it shows that you care about your children’s future. You’ve had a bad experience but not every headteacher is the same. A school that value’s your children for who they are and values their day to day safety will make far more of their potential than a school that is willing to do nothing just for an easy life.

    We have been lucky. Initially when I was looking for a school for M, I visited all 3 in our village. The first one didn’t give me confidence that they could provide for him and the second asked how much he was worth in additional funding due to his diagnosis of FVS. The third, which was also his catchment school invited us in for a meeting and to look round. The headteacher said he was pleased we had a diagnosis for M but actually, he would fight for whatever he needed, whether that was funded or not. He said he demanded an environment where all children were valued and safe. One girl once asked Matthew why he had to do ‘that stupid wiggly thing’ (he was having myoclonic seizures) and the parents were brought in the same day and informed that the school would not tolerate children who didn’t make allowances for each other. That was before I had been told about it, but the parents were mortified and the girl never said anything like that again. Even with a new headteacher, the school has continued to carry on in the same way.

    M is now at secondary school and two weeks ago I had a call to say that a pupil had said something derogatory to M but he had not heard it. However tow pupils who had been at primary school with him had and had told the pupil it was not acceptable. They also reported it to staff and the boy was put straight into pre-exclusion and his parents rung about it. The school had also contacted the police to ask the school liaison officer to come in and talk to the boy about disability hate crimes and punishments…. Although M was completely unaware of this, the school wanted me to know they had taken it seriously and would not tolerate it. It was comforting to hear that the school would react to a situation even if M was not aware of it. It was also gratifying that the work put in at primary school had had such an effect on pupils that they would stand up for M years later.

    What I’m trying to say is that the headteacher at your children’s school is not up to the job! However, not every school is the same and I hope that you can find a school that values your children for the amazing children they are!

    Catherine
    XXXXX

  2. Hi. There’s only one way to tackle situations like this.. Publicise your concerns, use social networks & local press, it frightens the shit out of them. Schools these days have so much authority over everyone, even down to the law. My son was being constantly bullied by his Deputy Head. Complaints after complaints were made but never got to the bottom of it, it made me mad that nothing was being done and felt we were being totally ignored.. Until one day enough was enough! I put him down so much over social networks & media he finally resigned. Good old freedom of speech & true facts go a long way. Good Luck

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