My Name is Bridezilla

Its 5 days till my wedding day.  Joe yesterday played “Here comes the Bride”…..the minute I heard it tears to my eyes, followed by my breathing going funny, hot and sweaty palms then full on waterworks.  This is going to be the biggest day of my life yet at the minute Im a blubbering wreck.  I cant wait to wear my big dress, and see the girls in their dresses and the boys looking so handsome in their red waistcoats.  My sister and bridesmaids in their dresses.  There all going to look gorgeous yet still 5 days away Im so nervous.

This last month has been pretty full on and stressful to say the least.  The normal, regular day to day life of the school run, hospital appointments followed with potty training (Kian), temper tantrums, and my epileptic fits has been the fore front of each day.  As well as :

Hen Weekend in Dublin :

Me x x

9 friends accompanied me to the fab city of Dublin for my hen weekend.  What a fab and much needed girlie weekend. My sister  Kerrie(chief bridesmaid) and friend Jo (bridesmaid)planned it all and it couldn’t have gone smoother.  A fab hotel, my sister was the tour guide taking us along the famous Temple Bar.  Kitted out with badges, veils,  shot glasses I was certainly noticed in Dublin.  The people were great there, so friendly and talkative.  Winning a dance off with a groom who was on his stag weekend, made it memorable also having to do a dance to “Going to the Chapel” in a packed club of around 500 people – best girls weekend ever.

Me and my sister (chief bridesmaid)

me as a pint of Guiness

2 day Trip To Parliament – 1 day being back from Dublin I had to fly down to London.  Being a Trustee for FACT (Foetal Anti Convulsant Trust) all 4 trustees had a series of meetings setup with MPs with regards to FACS SYNDROME.  This was a very successful trip.  We have the full backing from the MPs we met who are all very keen to get FACS known within Government (if not already) By the end of our 1st day, one of the MPs had already submitted 3 parliamentary questions to be answered.  Each MP we saw made it clear how they would help and support  FACT.  As FACS SYNDROME  is being compared to Thalidimde, we actually had a meeting with the Thalidimide Trust.  They are backing and working with us 100% and we now have a structured aim to work by.  Over the next 24 months there is going to be a lot of work involved but if this means getting financial support for all the children affected by these medications it has to be done.  Although it will be very stressful….. I cant wait for the challenge.


Breast Cancer : First of all I DO NOT HAVE BREAST CANCER. For the past few months I have been having a very sharp pain in my breast leading into my armpit.  Its very sore and leaves me with the feeling of being winded and in a lot of pain.  Ive been taking paracetomol to help with the pain but it hasn’t really helped.  With that, Ive  been putting off going to the DR.  9 years ago my mum who was 40 at the time was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  To cut a long story short my mum passed away 2 years after receiving her diagnosis.  I was so scared to go the GP as having my own kiddies now the thought of something so devastating is uncomprehendable.  I finally went to the GP and an appointment was booked for me at the Breast Clinic.  Ive since had a full scan and it turns out to be a blocked gland.  Ive been advised to take Evening Primrose Oil.  Apparently its very common for women to get breast pain often with no reason.  I feel a lot better knowing its nothing serious and to think Id put it off for ages.  My advice to anyone with similar health problems : go to your GP, that’s what their there for.  I miss my mum every single day and with the wedding I think this is why Im so teary.  I know shes not coming back but every bride wants their mum with them on their special day.  She was such a big part of our family.  Its 9 years now and after such a long time you would think Id be used to her not being here….but Im not.  It makes me so sad she never met my 5 babies, she would have adored them.  

Lauren : 2 months ago Lauren had an appointment to undergo Gait Analysis.  This is a procedure for anyone diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, to have probes attached to different parts of their body to see which area is most affected by CP.  Up to now Lauren has tried different methods to help with her mobility ie Physio, Botox, Splints.  Despite all this her mobility is still classed as very poor.  Even though me and Joe knew the time may eventually come, Drs at the hospital have now told us she is going to definitely require surgery to help her.  Knowing it and actually being told by the hospital is 2 totally different things.  At this stage all we know is that she will have the surgery and after the operation she will be in a wheel chair for up to 8 weeks.

Everyone keeps asking am I excited…… and yes I am but also very nervous and anxious.  I know this is a natural thing but I just cant control the tears, I wish I could.  Im hoping all my tears will have dried up by Saturday, surely Ill have non left to cry. I really cant wait to marry Joe.  As a couple we have been through so much together especially with the kiddies and to be honest Im lost without him.  My nerves need to calm down and disappear

I know as the next few days pass my feelings will turn to excitement.  I hope on my special day my mum and nana will send me the sun and shine down on us all.



4 thoughts on “My Name is Bridezilla

  1. I take evening primrose oil and it does help, but the best one hospital recommended was starflower normally on 3 for 2 in tesco. Try that it really does help.
    Good luck with your wedding I look forward to seeing the photos! Best have a really good cry day before get it out of you’re system.
    Good luck love Sam x

  2. Your mum and your nan will be shining down on you, even if the sun isn’t! Your family and friends will all make it a special day with lots of new memories to last a life time that you will be able to share with your daughters on their wedding days. We will be with you in spirit, enjoy and cherish every moment x x x x x x

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