The same girl who laughs and talks a lot and seems very happy is also the girl who may cry herself to sleep…”
Ive just come across this saying on The Notebook, it is so relevant to my life because for the past few years that is totally how I was. The loss of my mum 10 years ago due to breast cancer (she was 40) had such an overwhelming impact and to this day still does. Going on then to have my 5 children in which due to FACS Syndrome are many many different conditions that my family and I deal with on a day to day basis that for me…resulted in crying everynight and more often or not in the day to.
I was a working mum trying to juggle all the children, my fabulous amazing partner, hospital appointments, tears, tantrums, that I didnt want to be seen as a failure to people around me, so it became easier to just put on a smile, laugh loud, talk the talk and to portray a false image. This went on for absolutely ages. Its achieveable for a period of time until there comes a point when you just crack. This did happen to me. I cracked. Having a big effect on me and my family around me.
Looking back now, its not worth putting up a barrier or a defense against people, particularly the people you love. Your day to day problems are still going to be there. You just have to prioritise things and take one step at a time.
Dont pressure yourself to much … Tomorrow is always another day
Live for the now x x x